She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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