Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
