I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
