I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
