Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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