How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
