I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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