I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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