I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
