Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
now i know why i became what i already was.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
