the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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