oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
