i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
