I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
