DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
