no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
they're like a gay fantastic four
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
