Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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