you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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