he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
