I CAN MOONWALK!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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