im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
