Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he shaved USA in his pubs
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
