So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
