So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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