All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
