Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
