We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Are we still banned from the library?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
