You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
