***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If that was your dad, he is hot
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
