So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
