its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
