The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
