Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
