no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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