Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
only you would photoshop your dick
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
