Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she looked like the before picture.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
