There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
