There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
As shirtless as possible
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
