Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
