So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
only if we run a train.
done.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
