I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
