Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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