So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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