Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
