I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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