I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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