I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
