If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
