There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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