Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
