just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
