6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
