i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she peed on how many people?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
3pm strippers are depressing
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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