how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
