Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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